There are people who like lists, like Trevor and Jenn. And then there are people who don't, like Meave (no link because she is secretive and only posts interesting things "friends only"), who says that "lists, along with McSweeney's, are killing American humor as we know it."* And this post is dedicated to all of them, to all of you.
*Ironic considering the means by which Meave and I met. It was, you guessed it, through a list -- this (warning: shameless plug upcoming) thing I wrote in The Morning News (link to it on the side bar). It just goes to show that Meave, like all of us, is a bit of a hypocrite. Oh -- hi, Meave! We were just talking about you.
A List to End All Lists
1) Funniest List Ever (and by Ever, I Mean "That I Have Read in the Last Week, or More Probably the Last Day, Although I Cannot Remember Exactly): Artist List: David Cross: Albums to Listen to While Reading Overwrought Pitchfork Reviews.
2) Top Ranked Items When You Google the Word "List"
-The List: The Definitive Internet Services Buyer's Guide
-List (Java 2 Platform SE v1.4.2)
3) First Four CDs I Ever Bought
-Aerosmith "Get a Grip"
-Green Day "Dookie"
-The Offspring "Smash"
-Dangerous Minds Soundtrack
4) Last Four CDs I Bought
-Aimee Mann "The Forgotten Arm"
-Seu Jorge "Cru"
-Art Brut "Bang Bang Rock & Roll", British import version
5) First Two Hundred People I Ever Slept With
6) Last Two Hundred People I Slept With
And, yes, all of this is just an excuse to post:
7) The Things I Did in the Last Two Weeks
-Found a syringe laying on the ground in the park (an entire post dedicated to it, several days back)
-Had a bizarre glasses-wearing older man awkwardly blow kisses at me on the bus
-Sold a couple hundred dollars worth of musical equipment
-Witnessed five guys getting arrested, directly across the street from my apartment
-Wrote (and did not send) several really bad love letters
-Saw free concert put on by Aimee Mann and Seu Jorge
-Met Aimee Mann
-Started the books Blood Meridian (Cormac McCarthy), The Elephant Vanishes (Haruki Marikami), If You Want to Write (Brenda Ueland), becoming passionately and unhealthily enthused by all three
-Finished the books The Book of Laughter and Forgetting (Milan Kundera), Chronicle of a Death Foretold (Gabriel Garcia Marquez), The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka), loving the first and appreciating the second and third
-Witnessed numerous men peeing on the sidewalk
-Witnessed a man pulling down his pants to poop in the corner of a laundromat
-Watched amused and dumbstruck, as he attempted to do so
-Realized, begrudgingly, that the people who yelled at him to stop and then get out, ultimately, did the right thing