Tuesday, June 27

Tastes like...AIDS!

A multiple-choice question:

You are in the picture above, in Dolores Park, San Francisco, and you are sitting in the grass under a palm tree. It is a beautiful day outside and you have elected to take your dinner out to the park, where you sit eating and chatting with four of your friends. You are in the middle of packing up your belongings and gathering your trash when, low and behold you discover, laying in the grass beside you, a used syringe. You:

a) Break off the tip, wrap it in a plastic bag and dispose of it, being extremely cautious while doing so.
b) Drop everything to alert the authorities.
c) Chuck it in the trash.
d) Leave it for someone else to deal with.
e) Lick its tip.

Guess which one my friend HJ (accidentally) did.

Told in the Point-of-View "Third-Person Obnoxious" this story would go like this:

"It all started with a quiet, pleasant picnic between friends Tom, HJ, Chelsea, Michelle, and James. It was early evening and the air was cool. They were living it up and sharing it all. The laughs. The food. The bodily fluids.

And then they found it.

Suffice it to say they freaked the fuck out.

This freaking the fuck out was quite an uproarious sight, for Chelsea, ever the photographer, then pulled out her camera and HJ, ever the culinary adventurer, then pulled out his tongue, and James, ever the internet journalist, then pulled out his laptop."


jenneral said...


Benny said...

Freakin' barbarian. I'll update in my own good time. Don't you fret. :-)

barista brat said...

i can only imagine his visit to the clinic.

"i think i infected my tongue with aids."
"you can't get aids by cunninglingus, silly!"

Harry the Hire said...

can I ask why my ass is hanging a step below the apples and everyone else on your blog list? I feel the the bottom of the barrel now - that is some distniction at least, I suppose

James said...

Two responses.

Brat, that is very similar to the scene I envisioned.

-"So do you have any ideas how this might happened?"

-"Well there was this syringe laying on the ground in the park..."

Light, the reason you're lower is because I know all those people in the real world (except for Benny). You are but a figment of my internet imagination. Not that that means any less to me of course.

Anonymous said...




Benny said...

I'm not even real enough to know in the real world. We can pretend, though. Especially since you're coming to live on my coast soon! (Right?)

James said...

Indeed! July 16 is the date of my arrival. Excitement and relief to be back. I don't think I can take it out here anymore.