Thursday, June 15

My grocery list

It is said that John Updike is so popular and widely circulated that he could even publish his grocery list. I'm no John Updike (my schnozz is much smaller, Benny) but here was what I purchased at Safeway the other day:

-carton of guava nectar
-1/2 pound of Virginia Ham
-1/2 pound of hot pepper jack cheese
-box of condoms

To my dismay, I didn't get a funny look at the register.

What's the oddest combination of things you have ever gotten at the store?


Benny said...

The Updike Nose should be given a bust of its own and placed under a glass dome in the Vatican. Which would be ironic, because if Updike is famous for anything else, its his Protestantness.

Joyce Carol Oates once accused her "good friend" Updike of being too prolific, of publishing everything he jotted down on the sly. I thought that was pretty rich, coming from her.

Jimmy baby, I bought the condoms (for me) and some cat toys (for a friend once). The two items were completely unrelated, and I was blushing very hard by the time I got to the register. The cashier's reponse was perfect British indifference.

James said...


You know in some states (like South Carolina) that's perfectly acceptable.

Benny said...


In some states, people are related to their pets, though. I see your point.

Anonymous said...

you have a need for condoms???

jenneral said...

Graham crackers
Febreeze Air Effects (Blossums & Breeze scent)