Wednesday, February 8

James Yeh, Corporate Slut (soon-to-be)

so I was planning on doing a post today about selling out to the corporate world, but because the temp agency blew my contract negotiations (I just wanted to say "my contract negotiations"), I'm currently not working for Wells-Fargo and not working for twenty an hour.

Snap.

Oh well, before I foray into the world of corporate slutiness, I needed to get some new slutty corporate slut pants (and shirts, for that matter) anyway. My current selection makes me look like either a caterer or a Republican--both of which are unacceptable for image-conscious up-and-comers like myself.

H&M, here I come.


This is the look I'm going for--I hope the pimply fifteen year-old sales assistant will be familiar with Patrick Bateman and American Psycho. I'm sure he/she won't be, however. Now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't even go. In all honesty, H&M's current Winter staple gun line isn't what it was last year.

9 comments:

Robb said...

I think that could be a good look for you.
Speaking of American Psycho, did you ever read this piece on Yankee Pot Roast?
http://www.yankeepotroast.org/archives/2005/12/an_american_psy_1.html
Hilarious, and you might get a few more fashion tips.

James said...

Yeah, I saw it when I was back in Anderson for Christmas, actually. Very funny indeed.

Robb said...

My two favorite lines from that piece are as follows:

1. I am pressed against the counter as all manner of last-minute shoppers flood the aisles of the perfume and cosmetic counters. Already some annoying woman has scuffed my A. Testonis with the wheels of her stroller and I am livid.

2. I ended up killing the Russian girls and spent the better part of the morning cleaning up the blood from the floor, but only after I finished my crunches.

James said...

Those are great. I also liked this juicy bit:

"I manage a half-smile and notice that she looks like the blowjob girl from Asseaters II, which I still haven’t returned to the video store."

Benny said...

J-by, you'll look funny as a gunman. You might as well stick to Republican. It's more unassuming.

xo,

Benny

Robb said...

"I think Republicans are often more dangerous than gunmen."

-Robert M. Calhoun

James said...

Agreed.

James said...

"But Republicans who are also gunmen and who are also crazy are also sexy. To me."

-Jameson C. Yeh

Robb said...

"Guns don't kill people. Sexy Republicans who are also gunmen kill people. With guns. So, wait. What?"
~Robb "The Carolina Kid" Calhoun