Monday, October 10

My internet belittles me and calls me "weird".

So I’m bored and I took an online personality test. Although it’s kind of long and the questions are pretty dry, this one makes some bold predictions at the end of the questioning, and I appreciate that. It also has a strange streak of subjectivity, biased wording, and unrational thinking--things not typically found in a test like this. Usually everything is put mildly with an equal number of positives and negatives. You could be a child molestor and it would put something like "young at heart."

Anyway, according to this thing, I'm:

"messy, outgoing, open, self revealing, ambivalent about chaos, unpredictable, not good at saving money, social, likes large parties, likes to stand out, risk taker, quick to make friends, does not like to be alone, rash, fame seeking, sarcastic, craves attention, social chameleon, low self control, food lover, not rule conscious, weird, assertive, not a perfectionist, anti-authority, thrill seeker, vain, likes to fit in, reckless, emotionally sensitive, leisurely, [and] trusting."

For the most part, it's disturbingly right on. But, honestly, there are really only like four different traits there. Outgoing, open, social, likes large parties, does not like to be alone--I get the point already. Also, there are a couple traits that make no sense whatsoever, and, frankly, sound pretty darn unscientific. I mean, how do you find out if someone is sarcastic or a "food lover" or not based on questions like "On a scale from 1-5, How vain are you?" or "Do you like things to be unchanging or not?" And "weird"? What a pinpoint descriptive word. I'm guessing they just equated that with "artistic". They do usually go hand-in-hand.

Here are a bunch of stats:

Extraversion 86%
Stability 43%
Orderliness 40%
Accommodation 50%
Interdependence 70%
Intellectual 30%
Mystical 43%
Artistic 90%
Religious 10%
Hedonism 50%
Materialism 56%
Narcissism 83%
Adventurousness 90%
Work ethic 63%
Self absorbed 76%
Conflict seeking 56%
Need to dominate 83%
Romantic 83%
Avoidant 36%
Anti-authority 43%
Wealth 56%
Dependency 70%
Change averse 36%
Cautiousness 36%
Individuality 43%
Sexuality 76%
Peter pan complex 23%
Physical security 83%
Physical fitness 64%
Histrionic 83%
Paranoia 56%
Hypersensitivity 90%
Female cliche 36%

Underneath all this is a result box of that's more a lecture than anything else:

“Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.”

Yeah, fuck you too, personality test.

In case you want to be abused too:
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by


Anonymous said...

Great Blog. Well done!


Becky said...

Peter Pan complex?

James said...

I think it means not wanting to grow up. Or maybe liking kids "that way".

Trevor said...

A sarcastic food lover? "Oh, this pizza is *really* good! I mean, it's like they *knew* that I *love* the taste of cardboard."

Yeah, *right*. I'm *sure* you just *love* all sorts of food. *Seriously*...

Happy-b-day, btw (23, that's like three years ago for me. Good times).

Anonymous said...

Put a word verification thing on your comments so you don't get all that spam.

glomgold said...

I guess if you answered everything with 1's or 5's then maybe they could assume "sarcastic".

Glad to see "doer" also has a site related to better sex. That's just spiffy.