Friday, July 8

I'm too sexy for my shirt

Last night while I was at Nick's (commonly--and incorrectly--referred to by ignorant folk as "the gay bar of Clemson"), several firsts happened to me:
1) I was hit on by a guy at Nick's.
2) I was semi-molested by a guy at Nick's.
and 3) I was hit on and semi-molested by a guy over the age of 65.

This is what he looked like:


There I was--young, nubile, virginal, barely legal--waiting for the bartender to take my order, when out of nowhere, this elderly gentleman struck. Making his way back from the restroom, he moved toward me like a bee to honey, I being the honey. As he passed by, he whispered "Hi" into my ear with a husky, phlegmy voice. Before I could respond "Hi" back, he, while still moving mind you, placed his large wrinkled hands onto my arms and caressed them gently, but firmly. He patted my back. Rubbed my shoulders a little. Inched his way down my spine to around my belt. Then he reached under my shirt and gave me a wedgie. (Well he didn't do the last part, but, seriously, everything else right until it.)

I've never had something like that happen to me--I felt disgusted, violated even. Yet also highly aroused. My breathing got heavy and I had to sit down. I think I had what some might call a "raging boner". By the time I recovered, the old man was gone, out of the bar, out of my life, forever. But his memory still remains. That raspy, sexy voice. The gentle ticklies upon my bare arm. The look of man-passion upon his face. I sure hope this is what it's going to be like in SF.

3 comments:

Trevor said...

I think you have a future writing "elderly erotica", James...I know I was turned on more by your prose than I have been through thousands of hours of soft-core Skinimax features.

jenneral said...

Now you know what it's like to be a woman... except for the arousal part. Because women hate sex.

Becky Adnot said...

That's what he looked like? Did you ask him to stand for a snapshot?