Friday, April 14

Boredom at work=long blog posts

A really slow and slack day today for the rest of the office, but a normal one for me. Expense reports lie unfinished (check that--barely started), but today is Friday, and everyone knows nobody works on Fridays, particularly Good Fridays. I've been passing my boredom by exchanging MySpace messages and saying inappropriate things to co-workers, both of which would be hazardous to my job--if I cared. Which I don't.

My assignment at G. is coming to an end, and although I've actually started enjoying a lot of my co-workers, I'd be lying if I said that another month of working here wouldn't make me want to fling myself from my 39th floor workspace.

Some of the highlights of the day have included:

-Having a college friend and her friend from grade school buy me breakfast for housing them during the week

-Eating lunch with my long lost friend Meave and getting a sympathetic ear to listen to my griping about one of many bizarre incidents that occurred during the aforementioned houseguests' stay. This was a welcome change to the response my bandmate, Danny, had given me the night before. "I think you're obsessing a bit, James," he had said to me.

-Getting a free can of Tab Energy drink from girls in the lobby of my building.

-Having this conversation with a co-worker, concerning my free drink:

ME: [proudly holding up my Tab] "Check this out, man. Got it for free."

OTHER MALE TEMP: "Where'd you get it?"

ME: "Downstairs. There're babes just handing it out."


ME: "Yep. They're like, [pointing to container of Tab] 'Check out these cans!'"

[awkward silence]


ME: "Er...I probably shouldn't have said that, huh."

It's like I'm trying to get fired.


Benny said...

Jimby, you buy into energy drinks? While wearing white collars and cheering for The Man? And Devendra Banhart is number two on your listening list? Eh?

James said...

The energy drinks were free!

What, you would have wanted the cop to let her off? She's the reason I have to pay $1.50 a ride as opposed to $1.25 a couple months ago.

I see it the same way as that kid who couldn't act right in your second grade who made everyone else have to stay in for recess. I'm no goody-goody, but fairness is fairness.

Robb said...

You're a capitalist pig, James.

James said...

If being a capitalist pig means accepting free gifts from strangers on the street, then oink, oink, Robb. Oink, oink.

While the caffeine was welcome, the drink wasn't very tasty, by the way.

angel said...

Big deal, James. So what, you got a free can of Tab.

When you can milk free champagne, a pitcher of red bull/vodka, tea, mango lassies, etc. etc. with your wit and charm like I do, then we'll talk.

That's how I roll.

Anonymous said...

that's not fair - she has boobs - you don't.

James said...

Thank you, Evan.

Angel, here are just a few of things I've recently gotten for free with my wit and charm:

-"The Girls of American Apparel" calendar 2005
-Grosvenor company necktie
-Drinks from stangers in bars in New York and San Francisco
-Craigslist haircut from a French "master stylist"
-More Barry White and Japanese experimental CDs than I can shake a stick at from the gay security guard in my office building

angel said...

Sunday night, got a free BOTTLE of champagne for my friend's birthday.

Also, was turning down drinks from randoms.

-Company give-aways don't count. You work there.
-Drinks from "strangers" - were they women or more gay security guards?
-Haircuts from people who say they are "master stylists" don't count. Most likely, were you practice. Hate to say it, but the truth hurts.
-Re:the Barry White, etc. Ew!! Why would you accept that crap when there's expectations of anal penetration on the part of the gay dude?
-I can't help it if my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard (HA! I'm an Asian woman, who am i kidding? We don't have boobs, so we have to rely on our wit and charm).

James said...


You know all those people giving you free stuff are just trying to sleep with you. Speaks more for your looks and general upkeep than your wit or charm. Because everyone knows guys don't really care about those things. Wit or charm, that is.

Now, a defense:

-Company necktie given--while temping! Sorry, that does count.
-Drinks from couples--and ones not trying to get in my pants, which speaks even more highly for said wit and charm. Score another for me.
-That one didn't really count--I found the listing on CL. Still, it was $75 value.
-No expectations. At least I don't think so. Well, probably in the back of his mind. OK, fine--but just this one time!
-Angel, you Asian women may not have boobs, but you do have sideways, um, how do I put this, "parts". At least that's what the meathead rednecks in my high school gym class used to say. Apparently sideways parts are a good thing.

And Angel, you neglected to touch my subpoint B: the free "Girls of American Apparel" Calendar 2005 that was given to me. Given to me by an attractive female employee.

And yes, I did just subtly reference high school speech and debate.

angel said...

You were always much better at the humorous interpretation back in the ole debate days ;).

glomgold said...

There are no ladies, babes or otherwise, handing out free stuff in my office lobby. This blows.

Benny said...

Okay, sweetcheeks. Time to update!