Have you ever felt missed out on something? Like a job offer? Because you were taking a dump?
Well, me neither.
[looks the other way, avoids eye contact]
Well in other news, I got a free haircut yesterday. The literary mullet is gone. *Sigh*.
And, no, it doesn't look like shit. Which is why I felt compelled to give the guy a good tip. "Don't run near a pool," I told him. "You could slip and fall."
You see, money is temporary.
Safety is forever.