Every so often (or more accurately whenever I feel really inconsequential and need a pick-me-up), I google myself. Without typing in any other modifying words or phrases like "blog" or "clemson" or "tests surprisingly low in math and science", my name does not crack the top ten.
However because of my recent bio uploaded to The Clemson Forum website, I decided to do it again today. Low and behold, when I type in "james yeh", I'm now #8, just behind the #7 James Yeh, a researcher at the University of Arizona, Dr. Jim Yeh, and before the #9 James Yeh, a member of the Math Olympiad Summer Program. Distinguished and entirely unstereotypical company, indeed.
And just when I thought my day couldn't get any better, nor my achievements any higher, after a brief search using Google Images, I discovered my own likeness, as Adam Durwitz of The Counting Crows once sang, "staring right back at me." That's right, page 4, listing #69.
Needless to say I was quite enthralled and, feeling a sensation akin to hubris or too much mouthwash, thus decided to look up Google Groups, Google News, and Google Local (just in case). While I found a few new Girls-on-Girls-on-Animals porn sites to "research", concerning myself I found nothing.
I know it's currently the fashion to be unsuccessfully successful, like publishing a book nobody actually buys, but make no mistakes about it: I want to be famous. Fabulously, inconceivably so. And I'm willing to do anything in order to achieve it, be it selling out artistic integrity, betraying the confidences of friends and family, or kissing the asses of people more fabulously and inconceivably famous than I. Hell, I'd do reality TV, even. And don't even think I'm not above wrapping a sheet over the head of my first born and dangling him over a hotel balcony as an offering to the paparazzi below. Because I'm just that hungry.
The page 4, entry #69 picture taken from a Google Images search of the words "james yeh".
And of course it's a picture I don't like. I mean, seriously, what kind of hairstyle is this? It's like the Caesar for Asians. [Insert here a joke combining elements of Roman and Chinese stereotypes here, something maybe like "Confucious say 'Rome wasn't built in one day and neither were the railroads" or "When in Rome, do as the Romans; When in China, eat dog."]