Monday, November 28

Blasphemy = fighting words.

I saw Fiona Apple Friday night. She was amazing. Emotionally as powerful as anyone I can think of. But what I'm going to remember most vividly about the night will not be her performance. It will be that, while walking alone toward the bus stop downtown, a bum challenged me to a fight. Just before putting up his dukes and getting into the proper stance, he had grabbed his necklace (which I assume was a cross) and asked me in accented English, "Do you like the Jesus?" Briefly I wondered if he was referring to John Turturro's purple-jumpsuited character in The Big Lebowski, or as I like to refer to it, The Big Overrated. But alas, I think he was referring to Our Lord (capital letters for semi-irony - I'm agnostic, which means I haven't ruled out the possibility and, conversely, that I haven't accepted it either). Anyway, rather than give him such a convuloted answer, I answered, "No, sorry." He then responded with the challenge. But he misunderstood me. I thought he was trying to sell me something.

5 comments:

glomgold said...

I would never want to hit a bum because I don't want that urine-y stench lingering on my hands. I am still up in the air about whether to watch that movie.

James said...

Watch it, if only for the reason so that you will know what people are talking about when they reference it.

Don't fuck with the Jesus.

See? If you had seen it, you'd know just how funny and clever that allusion was instead of feeling left out and sort of uncool.

jenneral said...

I thought I was the only person who didn't spontaneously orgasm while watching that movie.

Brian Campbell said...

I guess you wrote fast enough you could have passed him one of those notes a la your piece at Yankee Pot Roast. I enjoyed that little piece. Perhaps you could write a sequel, even a series.

James said...

Kind words indeed, Brian.

I could write a sequel, but because I have a very fickle imagination, one that only functions using templates of reality as a springboard, I'm not sure if I'll find the necessary inspiration for that kind of thing out here. Damn you, socially progressive California!

However, I could always use my fond memories of growing up. It's a veritable gold mine. Also, I'm going back to SC in a couple weeks for Christmas with the fam, so who knows...